It’s been a hectic month and it’s only November 3rd. Do you ever feel like you are not giving your 100% at something? I’ve had that feeling the last couple of days. I went to a conference for work on Tuesday and it was about women in leadership roles. The two panelists were probably my age, maybe a few years older and they had accomplished so much and were running successful businesses. I, on the other hand, had a mini meltdown while trying to figure out what to wear to the conference. Lately there has been so much talk about women who are bosses and I see all these women on the internet running their successful businesses with so much gust and enthusiasm and I think it’s so great and inspiring but it also overwhelms me.
I hate comparing myself to others, but sometimes just do. Then it makes me feel like I just don’t give my best 100%. Then sometimes I turn around and think I did 150% on that project. It’s such a roller coaster. Lately things have been a bit tense at my job. I’m working on a really big project and I’m working on it by myself. Let me say that again, I’m leading it by myself and doing A LOT of the work, but I am also working with a team who work on different aspects of the project. I didn’t think I could do it when my boss told me she was leaving but as the months have gone on, I think I’m proving to myself that I am doing it but it’s ALL I’m thinking about! Then I think I should be putting these efforts into something that is more near and dear to my heart BUT what is that? Oh life. It throws so many things at you. When will I be able to catch that one thing that is thrown at me with gusto and I catch it like it pro.
Until then, I will try not to sit by and let my dream and ambitions fly by. I’ve already done too much of that. I will plan, set goals and let this space help me to clear my head. I will also drink a lot of coffee.